For the past 17 years, I have been helping women build their confidence, and get back (or even find) their inner spark! So I am no stranger to the challenges a woman goes through to find confidence, only to lose it, and have to find it again!
Growing up, I developed a lot earlier than most girls my age. This began my insecurities on with both boys and girls. Girls would say awful things out of jealousy, and boys would make inappropriate comments. Looking back, many of those comments were sexual harassment! This is a complicated situation for an adult to understand and deal with, let alone as a nine year old girl! This confusion and harassment lasted for a few years.
I coped by completely trying to hide my femininity and sexuality. I would wear two sports bras to try and keep my chest from standing out, oversized t-shirts, baggy jeans, no makeup, and my hair slicked back in the most unflattering bun!
Things started to change for me the summer of 8th grade. I had moved to a new city and was starting high school that fall. I could make a fresh, new start! I was determined to reinvent myself! I got a bottle of Frizz-Eaze, some Vaseline, and a round brush and practiced blowdrying my curly, frizzy hair smooth every day. Yes, every day because, as you can imagine, it was a greasy mess - but hey, we had limited smoothing products back then! Then I started to save up my allowance each week and began to really invest in makeup, makeup brushes, and magazines. I would spend hours in my room studying the ads and editorial photoshoots. I would then use my Max Factor and Clinique favorites to try and recreate them. After hours of seclusion, I’d come out of my room, magazine in hand, and show my mom a side-by-side; my recreation of a Victoria’s Secret photo. She'd critique it, giving me honest feedback: add more eyeliner here, or more blush here. So back to my room I’d go to implement her advice until I nailed the look! (And I use the word "nailed" loosely....). But 12 year old Teresa thought she was killing it!
As my freshman year approached, I was fully confident in my new look!
I felt the most like myself than I probably ever had! I was completely obsessed that I could reinvent myself each day with my hair and makeup looks to express my inner self.
The feeling was so freeing!
This new-found freedom gave me the confidence to start exploring through dating and sexuality.
This was the year I lost my virginity.
I definitely won't say that decision is the best for everyone, but for me, it unlocked a side of myself that I LOVED. I became completely obsessed with my feminine nature!
Gone were the days of baggy shirts and double sports bras!
Short skirts and push up bras became a daily staple!
Tapping into this side of myself and owning those desires healed nine year old Teresa.
I was no longer carrying the jealousy, shame, and guilt that those mean boys and girls had put on me. I was done carrying around the weight of others' thoughts, feelings, and opinions and this happened almost instantaneously!
Although I was thriving in my new independence, life at home didn't come without a struggle.
My parents were divorced, both remarried, and to put it short,
I had "Mommy' and "Daddy" issues.
On top of that, arguments at home would quickly get emotionally and physically abusive.
This gave me my motivation to pursue my dream of moving to Los Angeles, CA and start my hair career.
So I moved to LA when I was just 19 years old.
I truly found that city healing.
I was fascinated at how accepting it was.
There were all kinds of walks of life there and no one even batted an eye!
An actual place where you can discover and be yourself with no judgement.
If anything, you were sure to find others like you and feel a system of support!
(This was my experience, at least.)
For the next decade I was living my best life!
I had my dream job working on all the top celebrities in Hollywood,
I attended Playboy Mansion parties on the regular -
I was going through life free and wild!
But of course, every up - has it's downside...
I was in a long-term romantic relationship that
wasn't very supportive of this sexual freedom.
I would try and encourage exploration in the bedroom,
bringing in fun toys to try and flaunting my newly found lingerie obsession,
only to be met with guilt and shame ridden comments from my so-called "partner. "
This was the beginning of what drove a wedge between us.
Despite knowing this wasn't the relationship I wanted,
we ended up getting married.
It had just kind of snowballed into something I didn't know how to stop.
There were infidelities on both sides, years of emotional distance,
complete lack of trust and communication.
I was so unhappy..
I finally came to the conclusion that the only option was to get a divorce.
I knew i'd be happier alone than with someone who didn't love me - for me.
On top of the guilt and shame for my sexuality choices,
the emotional trauma from that realtioship was taking a toll on my mental health, too.
For instance, out of the 10 years we had been together,
he had only given me one compliment.
And it was a mediocre one at that..
Now let's fast forward to the age of 30.
I left Los Angeles following my divorce and moved back to my home state, Texas.
As if I wasn't going through enough already, I began to experience some health problems.
(God only gives you what you can handle - right??)
Since puberty, I had always had issues with my reproductive system.
I had endometriosis causing me very painful periods from the get-go
and then I found out I had cervical cancer at 20 -
(thanks to the HPV I got from starting that sexual journey so early...)
...and now at 30, I had it again!
...AND, it had spread.
So I had to have a hysterectomy and episiotomy.
This made my hormones all out of whack!
During the next few years I struggled with libido, dryness, mood swings, weight gain, and confidence.
I looked in the mirror and didn't even recognize myself anymore.
This was even more frustrating because I had met the love of my life during
this exact same time.
I was feeling very insecure and unstable,
along with all of the other side effects from that surgery.
All of this completely consumed me.
I was embarrassed, hopeless, and lost;
not just with my romantic relationship, but also my relationship to myself.
As if that wasn't enough, I also went through more than a couple job changes,
another major surgery,
and financial troubles that left me in a state of depression.
After finally admitting to myself I was going to need outside help to get out of this,
I found an amazing therapist,
an outstanding hormone specialist,
and submerged myself into every female sexuality course
so I could to try and find myself again.
I was determined to figure out what my soul needed and desired to be happy,
and where I was blocking that from happening.
After years of this inner work,
and addressing the root of all these new emotions,
...I had found myself again!
It was by far the hardest thing I have ever done.
To admit my failure, my faults, to learn vulnerability,
and try to love myself through it all.
So you see,
I understand many of the struggles that can come with being female.
I will be right there to guide you
and be your biggest supporter and hype girl!
I want you to discover your true authentic self and I will help you own her unapologetically -
and at every stage!
No matter where you are at, I will meet you there and create a program specifically for you and your own personal desires and goals in a safe, comfortable, ZERO judgement zone.
We cannot give to others until we can give fully to ourselves.
You will master this and so much more with my female empowerment life coaching!
So what are you waiting for?
It's time to put you first.